"I'm the biggest Packers fan", Patrick revealed Monday on "Jimmy Kimmel Live". Majority were easy jokes and low-hanging fruit (Jose Altuve's height, Alex Ovechkin being a Russian in Washington, Odell Beckham's hair, LeBron James' hair, etc.) but a few of them were solid.
They finally exchanged digits and have been together for less than a year.
But no matter how hard Patrick tries to razz her fellow athletes, she, or anyone for that matter, will never, ever come close to topping the near-criminal performance of Norm McDonald way back in the 1998 ESPYs.
The Green Bay Packers quarterback posed as her boyfriend, telling her he thought she was "the prettiest girl in the world" before kissing her - in a fantastic '80s frosted wig and all - as they leaned into a muscle vehicle.
Patrick soldiered on, telling the audience, "We have to mention the elephant in the room".
"Danica learned to drive when she was nine, because that's when I got my fifth DUI", the mother character tells the camera.
"We kept in touch a little bit, and there were some years we didn't talk to each other, and then some every now and again, but it wasn't until recently that we actually had phone numbers", the star said.
Patrick is a three-time ESPY nominee. Last year, he won awards for Best NFL Player and Best Play.